Story time

There's always a good story to how you started your adventure.  Maybe not always but once you can look back and reflect it seems a lot better.  As I said before in one of my posts Big J and I had discussed adoption many times.  It was even discussed before we multiplied ourselves.  (Well, Jason multiplied and I just carried the minions around for 10 months).  

Our first "deeper" conversation was right after JR was born.  The expansion of the CEO during business structure was enough for me.  I was ready to cap our business at 2 openings.  Big J agreed and took care of the production process, if ya know what I mean.  In making this pretty permanent decision we set "adoption" out on the table.  If we BOTH felt we wanted to expand again we were open to this option.  With this little seed planted it really began to stir around in my heart and never left.  At the end of 2014 officially any chances of opening our business were finished.  That again really started to toss adoption around in my mind.

In January of 2015 we both put "Adoption" on our goal's list.  We wanted to look further into this.  No permanent commitments but good intentions.  We attended Passion in Atlanta, GA.  With in the first 10 minutes Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 was read and used as our first activity.  It was verse 12b that knocked me off my feet.  "A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."  Now before you go dissect all the verses and say well when you take this verse by itself, blah blah.  The point is in that moment the Lord opened up the adoption box.  It was pressed further into the take action zone and less of the looks good on my New Year's goal list.

On Fall Break in 2015 we had a stay-cation.  Yes, 10 months later!  The idea was to do activities around home.  We were blessed with amazing weather so we went to the park.  Part of our family conversation was once again about adoption.  This conversation involved names.  Obviously before you make any big decisions you have to have a name!  Clearly a J name to go with our marketing theme.  So thanks to the gift of google we were looking up J names and debating our best options.  After playing at the park for a little we decided to go on a walk.  When we got to the bottom of the stairs we found this...

It's was a pink balloon with a pink ribbon.  Ironic because at the time we were talking about girl names.  The boys were so excited that we found a balloon!  A treasure!  They immediately named it SISTER!  What?  I swear not making this up.  So with the new found "Sister" we continued our walk and discussion of expanding locations.  It was a great initiator in taking our conversation to another level with the kiddos.  Again another nudge from above to get moving on the adoption research.  It was October and we'd done a real good job of procrastinating.  We were feeling the nudge but not doing anything about it!

To put us over the edge we wrap up with one more little story.  In the fall we did a church wide study called "Life on Mission" by Tim Harlow.  Big J and I are both small group leaders.  We lead different groups so we work at our studies at different paces.  Traditionally we do not do the same study together but in this instance we were.  One of the chapters had a couple pages about orphans, adopting, etc.  My book was lit up with highlighter!  Anyway Big J and talked one night.  One of asked if there was anything in Chapter 9 that stood out.  We BOTH responded with YES!  It was time to Get UP! or Shut UP! The section about adopting had stirred official action in both of us.  Here's a little glimpse of what's highlighted.

"The Bible is very easy to understand, but we pretend to be unable to understand it, because we know very well that the minute we do, we are obligated to act accordingly."

 - Soren Kierkegaard

Skip down two short sentences and it reads, "Let's stay on the subject of our moral obligation to serve children, specifically."

BOOM!  Hit right between the eyes!  The subtly of verses, ironic situations and such were not enough.  But some very convicting writing and words were!  There was two months left to get to work!

We're Active!

I don't even know if it's proper etiquette to post two posts in one day but since I'm a rule breaker I'm posting!  Today, oddly at exactly 2:15pm I checked my emails.  There was one email in my adoption account and it said "You're Active!"  I immediately read the email and called Big J.  We both were hacking away to get to the agency website as we spoke.  There we are!  Right at the very bottom. 
J X 4!!!!  My eyes are welling up just writing this post.  It's like the equivalent to peeing on a stick and it says YES!  (Side note each time I peed on a stick and it said Yes crying followed. Crying due to the very unplanned announcement).   If you're someone who feels sorrow because it never says "Yes" on the stick and you're taking the adoption journey this is your YES!!!!  

There will be a baby in our family!  We are growing!  It is real!  Here we go!

Today is already a big day marked on our calendar.  It is the last day we will have a 5 year old, for now. And now it is another exciting part of baby J's baby book!  

2.17.16 at 2:15pm!  What are the chances!

Through the Eyes of a Child

This is my third business venture.  First as official CEO.  Our grand opening business was a bit of surprise.  I mean obviously we had been dabbling in the market but we hadn't anticipated an investment!  When we had settled into a thriving business plan BOOM another location opened up!  Location Number 2's store front greatly resembles our first but the flow of the place is totally different.  So this brings us to our third location.  This business will be a more of a merger then a grand opening of our own business so here we go.  With merging you must include and educate the current business' on how this will look and what it means for them. YIKES!

Location #1:  Also known as JC, Alpha, King Candy, Motor Mouth
He is rip rearing ready to go.  As he has already experienced the expansion of business once and sits at the top of years in service he feels he is the best big brother you could have.  JC is so excited to have another sibling on the way.  His goal is 10 in all so he sees this as progress.  We're not sure where this thought comes from besides his social personality and love of his cousins from the south.  JC has experienced your typical expansion of family with a mommy waddling around with an expanding belly, the push to be potty trained, and the buzz of baby talk.  He welcomed all the responsibilities of becoming a big boy.  The growing up of getting a big boy room/bed, walking through the parking lot & holding hands,  and potty training (well maybe not this.  I'm pretty sure he would still be wearing a diaper if allowed).  He thrives on checking off the well child points of life.  The conversation of adoption happens often at our round table (aka kitchen table).  Here is a bit of insight from the mind of JC:
 -   JC tells everyone about this exciting news.  Literally it is the first thing he says everywhere we go.  We are adopting a BABY!
-  He is going to have a baby sister named Jane.  It's like James but with a N and no S.
-  One time he has asked when my belly is going to start to show.  I explained that our baby J is in a different momma's tummy.  Enough said for him, end of conversation.
-  This Christmas the kids at school were able to get a little gift if they were going to have a new baby sibling.  JC excitedly raised his hand that he was and so he got to get a gift.  That afternoon he came home with 3 hot wheels and let me know that these were for baby Jane when she comes.  I put them in my little baby stash.  Later that week when I was volunteering in JC's classroom, the teacher nervously approached me.  She came up to me and said, "Um, excuse me.  I have a question I need to ask but I don't want to offend you.  Are you having a baby?  I mean, you don't look like it but JC raised his hand when he said his family was getting a new baby.  I didn't want to say he was wrong but I was a bit confused."  Haha, insert explanation of our adoption journey here.
-  On our first mom & son date of the year I thought it would be a perfect time to talk to JC about how he was feeling about our new family.
CEO:  "JC, do you have any questions about the adoption or about things that are going on?"
JC:  Holding a giant slurpie about the size of his head.  "Ummmm no."
CEO:  "  Would you like to know about what we have been doing for the adoption?"
JC:  "Do you think we could talk while you drive us home?"
CEO:  "Sure."  Wow what an intimate conversation.  Exactly how I envisioned.

Obviously with JC's older age he is able to comprehend a little more of the details and differences of what adoption is.  He can discern that this baby coming into our family is much different then when JR entered.  I have tried to explain to him about what it means, and what responsibilities it means for him.  What is being absorbed time will only tell!

Location #2:  JR, Lunch Box, Cuddle Cub
As the second in line JR has not yet experienced a business opening.  He is still currently holding ranks as the Rookie and greatly appreciates the title.  In the world of JR adoption is much more prevalent and I believe a little more confusing.  JR lives in the world of play dates where new itty bitty faces appear and mommy's bellies are growing each week.  His friends are having new babies and he is anxiously awaiting his baby J.  JR tags along on doctor appointments, documentation delivery trips, and coffee dates.  All these consist of much talk about baby J but where is the baby?  Here is a bit of insight from the mind of JR:
-  When adorable baby E was born JR & I got to go together to the hospital to visit.  JR was so excited to see baby J.  There was much confusion that this was not our baby to bring home.
-  JR is a much more tender spirit then the Alpha.  Of course the conversation and encouragement to potty train and move into a big boy bed have been frequent.  JR would like to practice the potty but makes no commitment.  He has is very open to SHARING his crib with the baby.
-  JR will be a big brother to baby J, who is tiny.
-  When delivering some paperwork to ASC I had to explain it was for baby J, not to pick up baby J.  Now that was confusing.  We left, JR very upset and crying that once again there was no baby J.
-  JR is little boy.  He not grow up yet.

The transition between 2-3 is a big step for any child.  JR is a little hesitant but we are moving through.  Since there is no known timeline with our adoption journey at this point we're just taking baby steps along with him.  Current mild stones being tackled - transition to big boy bed and potty time!

CEO:  ME!!!
You might be wondering why I would include my own perspective since I am not a child but I am a child of God.  As much as I am teaching and leading the little ones in my life the Lord is teaching and leading me in the is process as well.  Six months ago I knew it was time to walk away from the fitness profession for a time but I had really nothing good to put in its place.  Through the Lord's divine timing adoption has slipped right into filling that need.  He has been explaining and teaching me the truth behind my identity in Him, the opening of my tight fists of controls, and the beauty in all the little things in my life.  Not the beauty in the items I get checked off my to do list but all the little things that happen in between.  I could make this post about a 1,000 times longer if I go in great depth but I'll restrain myself.  Here is a bit of insight from the mind of the CEO:
-  Soak up every moment of not being out numbered during the day.
-  Oh no!  We're about to be out numbered all the time!
-  Invest in the family NOT the nursery!  
-  Let it Go!  You just don't know!

Thanks again for reading!  * Note:  I have no idea if it's then or than and to be honest at this point I'm okay with that.  In junior year of English I checked out.  Currently I am still checked out and don't see checking in anytime soon!

Innie, Meanie, Minie, Moe (Why is there so spell check for this)

Before I go into details about how we picked an agency I wanted to post about where we are right now in the adoption process.  We have completed all our home study requirements and oodles of paperwork.  It will be any day and we will be "live."  That means birth mothers will have the opportunity to see our family bio and we are listed on the website.


(Enter picture here)  I had a great picture to help explain the process we went through to select our adoption agency.  To post this picture it requires me to download an app and use technology.  That would be mean by tomorrow I would have that accomplished.  So blog failure!  No visual!!

We came to a decision that a domestic (United States only) infant adoption was our calling.  In the U.S. most agencies consider infant 0-12 months.  With the agency we have selected we are personally considering 0-6 months as infant.  Selecting an agency is like UNO.  You have a handful of options, literally a whole deck, and you have to get to UNO.  Through talking, lots of talking, we started to collect names of different agencies.  We talked to friends that had friends who adopted.  People we knew that had adopted.  Co-workers who were willing to share any type of information that they knew about adoption.  I think there was only UNO agency that was repeated in all these conversations.  So that still left us with a full hand.   Grrrrr!  I had asked a client, who was a volunteer at Life Center, if she could share with me the list they handed out at their office.  Life Center is today's version of Another Way Pregnancy Center.  When we got the list we were excited to see that some of the recommendations we had collected during conversations were also on this list!  Score!  So we picked four to begin to research.  By research I mean Big J using google & then I listened to what he read.  Immediately one of the agencies was a NO!  Score!  Get rid of another card.  We read through their website and we were totally uncomfortable with their philosophy.  It felt like we were at a Used Car Dealership for children.  Yuck!   This left us with three agencies.  We liked all three on their websites and all had come with some type of recommendation.  From there we contacted each agency to attend their informational meeting.  

Round #1:  Our first agency we were so EXCITED!!!!!  We really thought this was the one.  We had heard great recommendations and felt comfortable with everything that was presented to us thus far.  They had a portal we were already connected into so we had been reading articles and looking over fees, procedures, timeline, etc.  I remember when we got into our parking spot we prayed and it felt like, "Oh my!  We're going to have a baby!"  The informational session was arranged to just be one-on-one so we were very excited about the privacy of the session.  After about an hour and a half this informational meeting felt like-  YOU Lose!  Draw 2.  We were totally defeated.  This agency didn't feel like a fit at all.  There were so many things that were expressed as needed in the process we felt that adoption was obviously not for us.  Where did we go wrong?  How had we not thought about this before?  We literally left and felt like we couldn't really talk.  We were ready to throw in the towel.  We both knew we had to be willing to be stretched but not into a giant pretzel!  After processing, Big J and I were able to gather our thoughts and discuss how we felt.  We knew we had two more agencies to go with so we needed to keep our head in the game.

Round #2:  This agency we selected was much different than the first.  They had absolutely no religious affiliation, would place you with a child from anywhere in the U.S., and had no pre-qualifications to adopt.  They strictly only placed infants and were networked across about 40 states.  Alright!  We were finally onto something!  Although round #1 was a huge bust we were much more educated & prepared.  We had gone and done some more research which helped follow the informational session.  This session was not private.  There were about seven other couples present.  For us, this wasn't really an issue.  The meeting was extremely informative.  We felt we had a good picture of what the process looked like.  On our way home we both agreed that we could go with this agency.  Still two cards left.

Round #3:    First off, in January 2015 Big J and I put adoption on our New Year's to do list.  It was now December 2015 and we were bound and determined to have an agency picked by the 31st.  Can you say procrastination!  So we jammed in one more agency visit before we headed to Florida for Christmas.  This agency's information meeting was also a group setting. I would say that there were about 10 couples.  The founder of the agency lead the session.  For the most part we were up to speed with the laws, payment fees, and majority of the things that were presented.  This was our third information meeting so we were getting the hang of things.  The big difference was it was so personal!  We both instantly felt connected and like this was the place for us to be!   Why?  First off they handled a lot more of the process then the second agency we had looked into.  This agency, ASC, collected all your information but then put it into polished form.  They have a huge network across the state.  Knowing our adoption would be in the state where we live answered a lot of unknown questions.  It also gave us a much clearer financial picture.  The staff is complied of amazing women!  They all have unique stories about adoption.  UNO!  We have won!!!!  Right after the meeting we wrote our check, scheduled our first interview, and picked up our packet.  Florida had some homework to get done!

Not listed in this story.  Insert "And we prayed" after every sentence.  There was no other way to use discernment and make decisions then through prayer.  We had felt the Lord lead us to this point so we greatly needed His voice in which one to choose!

So that's the rest of this story!  Stay tuned for more..

Here we go!

This is about how I feel starting to blog BUT I am extremely excited to share about our adoption journey with you.  Say what?  You're adopting?  YES!  To first get you up to speed JFNF has currently added a new branch, Jessica Faith N Family.  Jessica Faith N Fitness is on sabbatical for at least the next six months.  I have traded in my trainer badge for a new position.  I have taken over as CEO of the Household.  My job description includes banking, planning, editing, promoting, wiping, cleaning, real estate, non-profit, sales, sports & recreation, religion, and all the other categories listed under "Industry" when I was creating this amazing blog.  I looked for an "all of the above" category but none to be found.

Our adoption journey has been a whirlwind thus far but it took a few years for us to arrive.  We have been blessed with our two fabulous biological boys, JC & JR.  There has always been some discussion about what would it be like to adopt.  Once baby JR was born this CEO was finished with populating the earth!  Although there would be no more production coming out of this business we believed that if the Lord lead us to continue to expand adoption would be the option.  We found ourselves in 2015 looking straight into this journey.

I have a bit of a motto.  It's "Get up OR Shut up!"  I must be honest I only can handle talking and meddling over a topic for so long.  At some point I must either move forward or put the issue to rest.  Adoption became the topic for the "Get up OR Shut Up" discussion.  Big J and I had done enough meddling around this topic.  It was time to pick a course.  Through out the year songs, bible studies, scripture, meeting random people who over hear your conversation, and a gamut of other "signs" pushed us to the crossroads.  We both agreed we at least owed it ourselves to really look into what adoption meant and what it looked like.  Do we go domestic or international?  Are we booking flights or talking children?  Honestly, there was no problem "talking adoption" but we didn't even really know what the language meant!  So after some basic research we determined a domestic infant adoption was where the Lord had called us.  There were many things that lead us to this decision.  I would love to share specific details if anyone has any questions.  Please email me your questions!  

That's all I can handle for now!  This lady can only clock so much time on a computer!  I hope you've enjoyed thus far & got at least one laugh.  I look forward to continuing to share our journey of how we got to this point and where we are headed.  I will also be using this blog to keep you informed about some of our fundraising opportunities and other ways to support adoption. To all those looking for a pinterest worthy blogger and irresistible pictures sorry you got lost and landed here!